Enough is really enough

July 3
Tuesday

Editing takes more time than writing. I found myself spending most of my day looking over, correcting and re-writing earlier posts. Even though I "knew" I had carefully looked over and "fixed" each post there were many errors.

The lesson? More than one.
     1. I tend to see what I want, or expect, to see.
     2. What seems good today may not be tomorrow.
     3. A thing is not truly done until it is done right.
     4. I'm not a very good writer.
Perhaps there are more.

Walking carelessly--
A good way to discover
ice under the snow

One thing I have made a habit of doing is writing down or bookmarking quotes. When reading Hoffer's biography I noted he did the same thing. I do not compare myself to him except unfavorably, but did find it interesting. I began years ago after reading a biography of Jefferson and learning of his "Commonplace" book.

When first considering this adventure I recalled a quote I have marked from Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor (161-180) and philosopher:

     Remember how long thou hast been putting

     off these things, and how often thou hast

     received an opportunity from the gods, and

     yet dost not use it.  Thou must now at last 

     perceive of what universe thou are a part,

     and of what administrator of the universe

     thy existence is an efflux, and that a limit

     of time is fixed for thee, which if thou dost

     not use for clearing away the clouds from thy 

     mind, it will go and thou wilt go, and it will

     never return. 

                           Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 

It is not pleasant to think of how much of my life I have wasted. I believe I have done good in my life, but like Oskar Schindler at the end of Schindler's list, I realize I could have done more.

What is past cannot be undone--or in this case--redone. Instead I must focus on what there is to do and how to do it.

Nothing can be accomplished without working toward correcting my known faults. This list is not comprehensive. It will certainly be longer by the time the year is through. 
    
     1. Lack of self discipline.
     2. A short temper. (Impatience)
     3. Attempting/Expecting too much.
     4. Not doing enough.

Three and four are not contradictory. One of the reasons I do not do what should be done is my habit of not being satisfied with what can be done. For example, the thought of remodeling the bathroom turns into an idea to remodel the house. That may turn into building a new house; in a better location; on a larger lot, etc. End result? The bathroom stays as is. Nothing gets done. Or, if it is done, it doesn't satisfy.

What I would like to do is maintain the attitude I find in this, the only prayer in Proverbs:

     "Two things I request of you
     (Deprive me not before I die):
     Remove falsehood and lies far from me;
     Give me neither poverty or riches--
     Feed me with the food allotted to me;
     Lest I be full and deny you,
     And say, 'Who is the Lord?'
     Or lest I be poor and steal,
     And profane the name of my God."
                                Proverbs 30: 7-9 (NKJV)


I'm certain that Jesus had this in mind when he made this part of the Lord's prayer: "Give me this day my daily bread." The prayer asks not for tomorrow's food--but merely enough for today. Enough to live; not enough so as to be greedy.

More satisfying
than awaiting tomorrow's sun--
Enjoying today's rain!