New Baby, Old Regrets

July 17
Tuesday

My meeting with my pastor friend was cancelled. He and his wife were out of state. We rescheduled for next week.

I made out checks, a short grocery list and got deposits ready. Duke and I headed to town. By 9:30 it was already 86.

Stopped at the credit union first. Had to keep the car running and the air on for Duke. Asked about Heather, a teller there, to see if her baby had been born. Mandy said, yes, and showed me a photo on her phone. It is amazing what these phones do. Quite different than rotary dials, cords and party lines.

Heather is sweet, twentyish and unmarried. She lives with a fellow and they seem to be doing well. Still I worry. Alone she likely could not support the child. Without a marriage she could easily end up alone but for the child, and, no prospects except isolation or endless stream of partners. Few single men are likely to want to assume the responsibility for the child.

It is a shame what has been done to marriage. I know, I have been a part. With two ex-wives and a number of live-ins I have set a poor example. I've been alone now since 1993. Regret is small consolation to me.

Quick stop at the store for bread, tin foil and a small salad, got gas, mailed letters and headed home. Thermometer said 91. Still trying to shake yesterday's mood.

Fooled with the camera with no good results, but when I downloaded the shots I found yesterday's "shadow" picture to be OK.

Quiet as rose petals
Soft as a summer breeze--
shadow on the wall.

Spent the rest of the day reading. Watched two hours of TV in the evening before answering emails and working on the blog.